Find People Who Have Time For You

The world is a busy place.  Often, the hurried pace of life makes it hard to build relationships with one another.  

In the journey of spiritual formation, the relationships we cultivate profoundly impact our growth and faith. The Scripture tells us, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching" (Hebrews 10:24-25). This passage highlights the necessity of surrounding ourselves with individuals who are not only present in our lives but are actively engaged in fostering our spiritual well-being.

The Importance of Finding the Right People

Finding people with time for you means looking for individuals who prioritize relationships and are committed to being present. These people often manifest traits of active listening, consistent engagement, and a heartfelt response to your needs. They are the ones who will not only attend to what you say but will also read between the lines, discern your needs, and offer support or encouragement as needed. This select group of people forms your spiritual A-List. 

To locate such individuals, immerse yourself in environments that nurture such connections. Groups at church, Bible studies, and volunteer activities are excellent places to start. In these settings, look for those who engage deeply with others and are committed to fostering community.

Becoming a Person Who Makes Time for Others

On the flip side, making time for others is equally vital. This means intentionally scheduling time to connect with others, being fully present during interactions, and proactively offering support. Galatians 6:2 compels us to "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ." By sharing in the struggles and joys of others, we uphold Christ's teachings and strengthen our communal bonds.

Mastering the Art of Listening

Effective listening is a cornerstone of any meaningful relationship. It involves more than just hearing words; it requires active engagement and a genuine attempt to understand and empathize with the speaker's perspective. Techniques such as nodding, maintaining eye contact, paraphrasing, and reflecting feelings are all part of being a good listener. These practices ensure the speaker feels valued and understood, paving the way for deeper relational connections.

Avoiding Indifference

Elie Wiesel once noted, "The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference." To avoid falling into the trap of indifference—especially in a world where distractions are rampant—we must make concerted efforts to be emotionally available and responsive to those around us. This involves reaching out, showing genuine concern for others' well-being, and responding to their needs promptly and thoughtfully.

Deepening our Spiritual Lives

The call to find and be someone who makes time for others is not just a call to action; it's an invitation to deepen our spiritual lives and those of others. As we engage more deeply with our church communities, we build up the body of Christ and move closer to the ideal of a loving, supportive community. Remember, in the grand tapestry of life, the threads of genuine relationships strengthen our spiritual fabric and enhance our resilience against the trials of life. Let us then strive to be both seekers and givers of time, for in doing so, we embody the very essence of Christ's love.

Understanding Relationship Dynamics

Discovering that someone you believed would make time for you doesn't actually prioritize your relationship can be deeply disappointing. This sense of letdown challenges our expectations and trust, impacting our emotional well-being and potentially our spiritual growth.

Avoiding Shallow Connections

To avoid building relationships that might lead to such disappointments, it's essential to:

• Observe Consistency: Watch for consistency in actions and words over time. People who value and prioritize relationships will show it through repeated, consistent behavior.

• Communicate Expectations: Early and honest communication about your expectations in a relationship can help both parties understand and assess their willingness and ability to meet those needs.

• Assess Values and Priorities: Ensure that the values and priorities align in critical areas, especially spiritual and communal commitments, which are foundational in sustaining meaningful relationships.

Moving On Gracefully

When it becomes clear that a relationship cannot provide the mutual support or commitment hoped for, moving on gracefully involves:

• Acceptance: Acknowledge the reality of the situation without blaming yourself or the other person. Understand that everyone has their limitations and priorities.

• Forgiveness: If there's been hurt or disappointment, offer forgiveness to free yourself from bitterness, following the example of Christ.

• Focus on Growth: Redirect your energy towards mutually supportive and fulfilling relationships.

Realistic Expectations for Intimacy

Recognizing that you cannot be deeply close to everyone is important. Even Jesus, during His earthly ministry, had varying levels of closeness with different groups:

• John, often called the disciple whom Jesus loved, shared a uniquely close bond with Him.

• Peter, James, and John formed the inner circle, which was present at some of the most pivotal moments in Jesus' ministry.

• The Twelve Apostles were His primary group for teaching and mission.

• The Seventy (or Seventy-Two) were sent out in pairs to expand His ministry and had a broader but less intimate connection.

• Women like Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and others also had significant roles. They were crucial during His ministry and at the cross, indicating their close but distinct roles.

This prioritization illustrates that while Jesus cared for and loved many, His closest relationships varied in depth and nature. He was selective, prioritizing His time and energy in a way that fulfilled His mission on earth. Today, He offers a relationship to all through the Holy Spirit. Still, His earthly life exemplified that not all relationships can or should be maintained at the same level of closeness.

By understanding and implementing Jesus' approach to relationships, we can better manage our social and spiritual connections, focusing our time and emotional energy where it can be mutually beneficial and fulfilling.